happy St. Patty’s..nice shoes Mr. Mayor

Mayor Healy,  St. Patrick’s Day Jersey City, NJ!

get away from me you douche bag!

Yes, douche is probably one of my favorite insults..because i like the way it sounds. No one ever seems to have a good enough come back, once it’s thrown on the table, it’s pretty vulgar. When you spend most of your life “walking the line” (I was listening to John Cash this weekend), saying a vulgar word or having an obscene thought is needed to preserve your sanity. After all no one is good all the time. Not that I’m so good, but people would describe me as such before anything else. All this means… I successfully “wear the mask”.

Back to the title of this blog, this is what pops into my head when someone comes to my desk..everytime..friend or foe.

DOUCHE BAG..GET THE F*** away from me! Why?

Am I lazy at work, NO. Am I overworked, not particularly.
It’s essentially because I don’t want to be here. I know, I know I’m not special no one wants to be at their job, really. Unless you have a great job, which means you were probably a great decision maker, made the right choices during and after college..probably an earth sign like a capricorn..blah, blah, blah. Well I am a pisces and my reality is far less interesting than my imagination. Yes, I am swimming this way and that way, probably taking the long path up the river. I will make it regardless, this I know.

I completely forgot the point of the blog…….

Oh, Yes working for other people..being a mindless drone for eight hours a day..will make you call a person a douche, and some other choice words.

For me words are my power, words allow me to escape. As I sit, feverishly typing this blog at my job, letting the work pile up, hoping that the supervisor doesn’t notice. I am set free from my momentary circumstance, I return to me in these moments and the person I truly am.

So the next person that walks up to you at work..scream very loudly..(in your head):

DOUCHE BAG GET THE F*** AWAY FROM ME.

Watch and see how good it feels!

the goodnoise aka briggster!

i think i have …

The Birthday Blues, this truly weird for me and I don’t know what to do about it. Typically, I’m thinking about my birthday the day after Christmas, planning, excited..feeling really good about the upcoming day.

This year, I really can’t explain it. I haven’t thought about it besides people asking me..”what are you doing?” My response, “i don’t know.”

Well folks looks like I’m not doing anything. I can’t seem to get motivated. As a matter of fact I’ve been working really hard to improve my mood, but it hasn’t happened yet.

I don’t want Monday to come, and my birthday has been eclipsed by this feeling that I’m sure will pass over time. But at this moment, I’m just not there.

For those of you who suffer or have friends suffering from the B-Day blues..I posted an article below. I didn’t find it particularly helpful, but maybe you will.

Questions about Love

What is love?

A chemical reaction to some physiological stimuli. Is it a scent that smells so sweet, a smile that could speed your heart beat or break that same heart in an instant. Is it stolen moments decided by fate shared without really understanding? What is love, how do you know it’s real? How can you discern it from infatuation or a crush?
A girl once told me that love was 99% convincing yourself and 1% emotion. How unromantic? I wonder about that sometimes. I wonder what every happened to that girl, did you fall in love? Is she still using the 1% rule? Hopefully she has evolved more than that.  I’m willing to give the heart a higher percentage. I believe ‘being’ in-love, is somewhat like insanity.
You can’t stop thinking about the person; you want to spend every minute with them. You literally want to swim inside their skin. That sounds pretty crazy when writing or reading, but I’ve been in love and know many people in love. That’s the way it is. That’s insane, because you also become distracted and uninterested after the newness fades. Go ahead deny it, but you know it’s true. Every relationship ends because someone or something ceases, changes or simply grows like a splinter leading you both on different paths. The fire smolders, those cute quirks are now annoying, and you feel suffocated by all the ‘”togetherness.”
You probably think me an ass for saying so, but I’m sure more would agree if it were socially acceptable..That things end. Everything has an expiration date, some much, much longer than others. Beautiful to those lucky ones. You might mistake me for a lonely ass, but I’m actually a serial monogamist of sorts. I have had a series of meaningful relationships, all special, all of them I loved. But, things change. I love being in Love, I can finally understand it now. I also love freedom; I think I love it more than love. Anyone else out there agrees with this. Nothing replaces having that perfect partner, sharing, planning etc. But what happens when it ends..

How do we know the end, can we recognize it when you see it? I have a friend who is literally begging to be in a relationship. I keep telling her it’s not for ‘the faint of heart.’ The work you put in is what you get out of it.

So, what is love..tell me

Chris Brown…yeah everyone’s talking about why not me too!

One word: SAD

I don’t what happened, but OJ was the last lucky Blackman when it came to court. I’m not saying the guy shouldn’t be punished for going on “IKE TURNER’ on Rhi Rhi. But he is going to be crucified, he will not be allowed to redeem himself over and over again like the PiedPiper aka R! By the way black people, we definitely should have been outraged by that child rapist..yet his records keep selling. So deliver your judgment and loathing with equally. When OJ, cut his wife’s head off, no one was in an uproar about that either..I mean allegedly “cut her head off.”

Anyway think about!

Spring Break..yay..or no!

Well next week is Spring Break..yay..NO! I am a student, but an adult student. Simply put spring break means no class, but I still have to work. Massa is expecting me on the plantation, the work will not wait!

So Spring Break…yay..NO!

i love myself..wtf

Yes, people I LOVE MYSELF, self-love is the first step toward happiness. Your self-love, hate, loathing will define your reality. Remember we create and attract everything in our space. So, this marks the official NuvoNegro movement “I love Myself” Campaign!

Love yourself as you desired to be love, treat yourself as you desire to be treated and treat others the way you wish to be treated.

By the Way

GO OBAMA, TODAY IS THE DAY MY COUNTRY CHANGED FOR THE BETTER.

Will

What is will? Not a living ‘will’ free will, your ability to make choices, decisions based on desire, ambition etc. etc.

I would define will as a mental exercise, moving energy and events in the direction you want. That probably sounds a bit esoteric? I believe it’s true, I know it. I have literally willed circumstances and events in my favor. Why haven’t I hit the lottery, well honestly because material wealth doesn’t consume me. I’m not irrational, if you gave me a million dollars..Yes, I would take it.

But, I don’t waste a lot of energy fantasizing about money or wealth. As I stated earlier, I believe will involves focusing your energy. Of I also believe in predetermination or God, I’ll get into that a little later. What is the point of all this babble, well there have been somethings on my mind and a few actions have happened lately to make me beleie in the power of will a little stronger. I mean if you like someone girl, guy other whatever your into can you just will them into your life? My friend asked me recently if they could will a guy they fancied into their life? Yes, I used the word fancy, I’ve been watching a lot of Dr. Who on my European vacation, all the channels are in French and I’m feigning for television right now.

Back to my topic, will! Do you think you can will a guy or girl of your affection? My answer, maybe. I believe the same thing for love as I do for will, it will only work if it’s reciprocal. You might disagree with this next statement: but you can’t love anyone that doesn’t love you back, it’s organic. Love dies, changes and sometimes it’s deep infatuation which is really convincing, but not love. So you can’t will another soul unless you are on their subconscious to begin with. Now who am I, and where do I get this from? I am, that’s it somethings I feel innately. This is one of them. If you disagree, please write give me your best argument.

Will is organic, energy and focused concentration..you can will anything you want into your life good or bad. Intentional or unintentional. Now that doesn’t mean to stay in your head, you also have to take physical action to bring about this change. You know become the change you are seeking. Yes, friend you can will that guy into your life, but he has to be open/interested. If you know he is not, then your feeding into your own infatuation, I encourage to stop immediately if this is the case.

I will keep willing everything and one I want in my life, you should do the same. Remember you can’t have anything that isn’t yours or keep what doesn’t belong to you.

I am, I will

SP

Disclaimer: I use commas, with reckless abandon.

the thing

The thing with hotels, there is always some voice in the hallway or someone that looks a little to weird or friendly. It’s a building full of random strangers with even more random reasons for being there. When you walk by people at their room doors, they hurry in and double lock the door. At night when you sleep you put the bar lock on, and if someone knocks at your door your heart jumps. Is it Television that has made a simple hotel stay, give you mild paranoia. Am I imposing my own fears on you? When you return to your room late at night, you constantly look over your shoulder three or four times. If your in the elevator and a man gets on with you, the hairs on your neck stand. Sitting at the bar having a drink, if another hotel occupant gets to friendly your nervous they will follow you to your room..and knock knock. Checking-out your always afraid that you were accidentally locked out of the Internet rate and now this room costs is a kings ransom! I often inspect how clean the bathroom is and see if their is a lingering scent of bleach. Bleach is good, but also did someone die in this room, but that would have been on the news right? Or at least the hotel would print a monthly crime report to let you know:

Monday, Jan 1

Two guests caught lice from the linen.

One guest was accosted in a crowded elevator.

One man choked on a chicken bone while taking a bath and was found after he didn’t check-out by noon.

I guess it would read something like that. Then of course there is the obvious, some of us who don’t let friends, relatives or parents sleep or sit on our beds. We are now sharing this hotel bed with the world essentially. There isn’t enough bleach in the world to change that. The thing with hotels is it isn’t our house, so we take and extra long shower, maybe even a bath. We get a new towel everyday, even explore the mini-bar, call the front desk to often and have the guy bring our bags to the room. After all that you sit at the edge of the bed with your bare feet touching the rug wondering how clean it really is. How clean is anything, you feel the dirt crawl on your skin like a tight crowded airplane. You sit on the toilet, and think this is still a public toilet, I’m the public for the next few nights. Or you can forgot everything I’ve mentioned watch free porn and lay back on that bleached cleaned pillow-top mattress and forget about the rest.

Sontaia P. Briggs Copyright 2008

Disclaimer – I hit the spell check once and really don’t check for grammar..because this is not a homework assignment.